Saturday, January 01, 2011

2011 the end of 2 eras?: Why my phone & I have been together longer than Urban Meyer and Florida, but with less Tebow and more shift key malfunctions



Watching today's Outback Bowl between Florida & Penn State got me thinking about finality and whether my cell phone is more like Urban Meyer or Joe Paterno -- that is, whether the end of its career is definitely happening this year or if it could have another year in it or if its fate is even more mysterious.

As I have mentioned before, I love my old school, ridiculous dumb phone. It's this one: the Nokia 6800 -- basically one step up from the "Jitterbug" senior citizen phone. Whenever I flip it open to write a text message, people actually grab at the thing and remark about how cool it is (it DOES have a neat fold-out keyboard that's really easy to use). But then they see how old & janky it is and have only one other comment: "WHEN did you get that thing?" I actually can't remember when I got it. I think it was a Christmas gift in 2003...?

The menus on this phone are really confusing. The Nokia 6800 doesn't have a camera or voice recognition or a telescoping arm that wipes your butt for you or anything like that. You can't really put it on "silent," and to be honest, it doesn't even let you answer it sometimes. One of the shift keys on the keyboard stopped working for about 6 months a couple of years ago, but hey -- it eventually bounced back.

It's been dropped in the Iowa State Center parking lot no fewer than 30 times, and it's been all over the world: to Italy, Central America, Alaska, New York City, and several college bowl games. Some of the numbers saved in it are people to whom I haven't spoken in years -- or contacts from very old interviews I never bothered to delete in the event I needed to follow up (I haven't). There are numbers for a few takeout places that aren't even open anymore. It's been a witness to history -- at least my history, I suppose.

It probably saw its heaviest all-time use on Oct. 24, 2009, when it nearly blew up during Iowa State's 9-7 football win at Nebraska. (Turns out my friends were just a teensy bit excited about this.) It held up like a champ.

And while I remain hopelessly devoted to this piece of antiquated technology that fits perfectly in the front pocket of my "gameday purse," I'm starting to think that my phone may not live to see the 2011 Cyclone football season -- or hardly any of this new decade, I'm afraid -- because:

A) I'm not really sure how much more embarrassment my husband can take when I whip this baby out in public. A couple of years ago, I came home and excitedly told him about a gas station attendant who showed me his identical phone and said, "Wow. I thought I was the only one who still had this phone." (Keep in mind that this was two years ago. And that this was a gas station attendant who probably makes $7/hour. And that chances are good there is only one of us who is still rocking the Nokia 6800 and it ain't him.) Ben's reaction was expected: "And you're bragging about this?"

B) It seems to be losing some of its power. One thing I have always loved about my phone is that it holds a charge for up to five days. Not so much anymore. I fear the end is near and that replacing the battery will be simply out of the question since I believe it may be powered by horse or Windows 95 or something like that.

It's just that, of all the things I enjoy spending money on, cell phones are not among them. Ben tells me I should be able to get T Mobile to give me a new one for free (seeing whereas I have been a loyal customer using my glorified Jitterbug for something like 7-8 years now). So maybe the day will come in 2011 that I'll venture over to T Mobile and see what kind of deal I can get.

Provided I can get a new phone that is exactly like my old one, of course. Because who wants a Muschamp phone, really?