It wasn't because I was worried about my 4-year-old's suddenly obnoxious behavior, or about Cyclone basketball or carbon monoxide poisoning or work or my cholesterol or any of those things I might usually worry about.
I couldn't sleep because I realized we are about one week away from Donald Trump potentially becoming the Republican nominee for president.
Back in August, one of my favorite podcasts, On the Media, aired an episode based around the concept of looking back a fictional depiction of a Trump presidency. I think it was supposed to be far-fetched, a good belly laugh and a smack in the face over our national refusal to take politics seriously -- a warning of what we were flirting with.
It's so much more than that now. And I can't laugh.
The rise of Donald Trump puzzles me in that, despite his strong voter numbers, I don't actually know a real-life Trump supporter. They are supposedly everywhere, yet I never encounter them. (Perhaps this says more about my friends and relations and privilege than anything else.)
My friend Kelly was apparently feeling the same way about a month ago. She did one of those "HONEST QUESTION, NO JUDGMENT, YOU GUYS" posts on Facebook: "Are any of my friends Donald Trump supporters? If so, can you please tell me honestly why? I promise I will not judge you."
Crickets. 357 Facebook friends; zero willing to admit they were backing Donald Trump for president, even given the promise that they wouldn't be judged. Several people replied "Following -- I have been wondering this as well." Some speculated. But in the end, no one volunteered to carry the Trump banner on that particular day on that particular Facebook page. I was left still seeking answers, refusing to believe that such a large segment of the U.S. population was just racist and/or celebrity-crazed and/or unconcerned about governance.
Then, last week, I had my first "embarrassed to be from Iowa" moment since the Great Stanford Band Rose Bowl Overreaction of 2016. I read about students from Dallas Center-Grimes High School who taunted Latino students on the Perry High School basketball team with nasty chants invoking Trump at the schools' annual game (the good news: the horrifying tale has a fairly happy ending).
I tweeted my horror and shame over this incident. My followers agreed: Yes, this is disgusting. Look at what hatred and distasteful behavior Trump's abusive rhetoric has fomented. Embarrassed for our state. Embarrassed for our country. Heart. Retweet. Heart. Agree.
But then, there came this response: "Apparently public figures are now responsible for the stupidity of teenagers who don't understand a policy position."
Aha! Someone was disagreeing with my assessment of the situation. I couldn't be certain that the person was an actual Trump supporter, but I was on a path. Could this be my opportunity to speak to a real Trump supporter? Was it happening? Was this the magical unicorn I had been seeking? I had to engage further.
Long story short, the tweeter wasn't exactly a Trump supporter but said he/she would vote for him in the general election if he got the GOP nomination. I also got a vehement denial that Trump had ever tweeted disparaging comments about Jeb Bush's wife and a general declaration that all Republican and Democratic politicians are worthless and corrupt. The tweeter also espoused the Trump-held belief that Mexicans are flooding into the country, even though that is objectively untrue. So I didn't get much; I probably shouldn't have expected much. Trump is very good at deflecting and ignoring accusations and, well, facts, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there are others out there who support him who are equally talented in that regard.
So here I am. Still wondering what motivates someone to cast a ballot for Donald Trump; surely it can't all be disillusionment with "the establishment," but it also can't possibly be because of his inspirational campaign and policy platforms. I'll put this blog post out here as another ask, but I will include with it a fat steaming pile of judgment. (Because I'm not as graceful as Kelly.)
Presenting: Questions I would sincerely like to ask Donald Trump supporters, because what in the actual hell:
1) Does it not bother you that Donald Trump constantly speaks and behaves in an unprofessional manner, setting a horrible example for Americans -- particularly youth -- everywhere?
At a rally in South Carolina last November, Donald Trump bent his hands up and flailed them around in an apparent attempt to mock Serge Kovaleski, a New York Times reporter who suffers from a congenital joint condition. He frequently calls people losers, dopes, and dummies. He wished out loud in front of a protester that it was acceptable to punch said protester in the face. As Megyn Kelly famously pointed out, he has called women fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals. Trump, of course, responded to Kelly's question about this by referencing her period and then refusing to speak to ever her again. Try to imagine any other past U.S. president behaving in any of these ways and what the reaction would be from the American people, from our allies, from our enemies -- from everyone. That's not the type of behavior we should ever expect from the President of the United States. It's embarrassing, and it teaches our children that belittling others and spewing profanity will get you to the highest position in the world. He's brought down the level of discourse in our country to a terrifying point, and not enough people seem to be bothered by it.
Sometimes a meme says it best:
2) Does it not bother you that the Trump campaign has not only shared very little information about policy positions or new ideas, but has frequently revealed an extreme ignorance of pretty much everything related to governing?
Trump would be better able to defend his sometimes positive comments about Planned Parenthood if he had ever read or even heard of the Hyde Amendment. Even as recently as last night's debate, it was obvious that Donald Trump doesn't understand what Medicaid is. Never mind the fact that he was being weirdly attacked from the right for saying that he doesn't want people to die in the streets (as though that was a bad or "liberal" position -- but that's another rant for another day), but how can he not understand that we already have a social program designed to protect the poorest people who are in need of health care?
Even when he attempts to be moderate or compassionate, he bungles it with his ignorance. At last night's debate he yelled something about getting rid of the state borders (about a hundred times, actually, which was ironically pointed out by noted debate talking point repeater Marco Rubio himself), which tells us nothing other than that he has some vague idea about allowing citizens to purchase health insurance policies across state lines. Which is not something that would prevent people from dying in the streets. And which is not exactly what I would call a fleshed-out health care plan. But whatever. It's going to be great and fabulous and he loves poorly educated voters all the more.
How Donald Trump can get away with merely declaring that everything he will do is going to be great and fabulous without demonstrating the slightest bit of knowledge or experience completely stupefies me. But it's happening. Sometimes I wonder if he isn't terrified, deep down, that he will end up getting put in charge of everything when he has no earthly idea what he's doing. Maybe not. I don't know how Stage 4 Egomania works. But, either way, the fact that he has been able to fake his way through a presidential campaign for eight months is alarming.
3) Does it not bother you that Trump has built his "successful business empire" -- the thing he says qualifies him to run the nation -- primarily on handouts, bailouts, and shady schemes?
To quote Rubio, Donald Trump would be "selling watches" without the hefty inheritance he earned from his father, so Trump was born on third base and has lived a life of privilege by any definition of the term. Add to that the fact that he has filed Chapter 11 four times. (To be fair, the four bankruptcies are not a completely out-of-norm action for someone in his situation. However, despite the fact that Trump has four times hung investors out to dry he has still oddly found a way to use the bankruptcies as examples of his business acumen, which certainly takes some balls. Also, pretty sure declaring bankruptcy is not an option in the White House.) And then there's this and this. So...is he really a great businessman who's out there growing the economy? And if that's your basis for supporting him, shouldn't you look more closely at the evidence?
That being said, one business skill I won't take away from Trump is his ability to market. The guy is a master at creating a spectacle around his brand. A freaking spectacle.
4) Does it not bother you that there are so many themes of racism in Trump's campaign?
A recent poll found that 20 percent of Trump's rabid South Carolina-based supporters believe U.S. slaves shouldn't have been freed after the Civil War. Yes, you read that correctly. Last fall two Trump supporters attacked a homeless Latino man in Trump's name; Trump shrugged off the incident and said his fans were just "passionate." Trump has called Mexicans criminals, murderers, and rapists. He has demonized Syrian immigrants, called the Black Lives Matter movement "trouble," and advocated a ban on Muslims in the U.S. while claiming he's a supporter of "religious liberty."
And really, let's ask ourselves, since we apparently must, WHY those high school students were using Trump's name to taunt people of another race. If people are misunderstanding you that severely, that's your problem -- not theirs.
So what's the upside? Current polling seems to indicate that both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton would defeat Trump in a general election. Since I lean to the left, I should theoretically be happy about that. But Trump's numbers just keep going up, and who's to say he couldn't win the election? I have certainly learned a painful lesson about counting him out.
And that's why I'm having trouble sleeping at night.
