"Banana Trauma" would be a good name for a rock band

A friend on a forum linked to this awesome Web site for the best thing you never knew you needed, The Banana Guard.

Some highlights from the Web site:

• The Banana Guard is available in nine colors, including glow in the dark. The best selling color is "Mellow Yellow."
• You can give someone a gift certificate for Banana Guards. (But that ruins all the fun of giving the Banana Guard as a gift and watching the recipient's face turn assorted colors and contort into a variety of expressions as s/he tries to figure out what in the heck s/he has just received.)
• Banana Guard's slogan is "Protect your banana!"
• From the FAQ:
  Q: Is there a battery attachment?
  A. No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport. ("Banana Trauma," I think Dave Barry would agree, would be an excellent name for a rock band.)

Oh, how I miss Dave's column; I'd be all over sending him the Banana Guard link.

The Joys of House Hunting

So, we've been shopping around for a new house. I love looking at houses, but sometimes I just have to laugh at the choices we are offered. A few tips if you've got your house on the market:

1) If the only new item you've purchased for your home in the last 50 years is one of those chirping bird clocks you can buy "as seen on TV," it's probably not going to be too appealing to prospective buyers, particularly ones under the age of 65. Not that we're not happy you take good care of your green shag carpeting. And no, it doesn't need to be replaced...

2) You may want to consider washing your dishes and picking up any clothes that happen to be strewn all over the floor of your bedroom, guest room, laundry room, and living room. I didn't think this was something you would have to put on a list of tips, but surprise! -- It is!

3) If you are a smoker trying to sell your home, it may be best to start smoking outside the house so that visitors can actually breathe in your house without gagging. Oh yeah, and if you have emphysema as a result of your excessive smoking, it might be a good idea to empty your bag of disgusting Kleenex tissues before folks come over.

4) If you own eleven thousand freaky ass dolls, I would recommend packing them in a box or hiding them in a closet before people start touring your home.

Just a few ideas I'm throwing out there.