2015: In Books I Read

Seeing whereas 2015 was the year of the Man Bun, the Mass Shooting, and Donald Trump, it's hard for me to look back upon it with joyful retrospect. Instead I choose to look back at it through the books I read during the year. So, without further ado, here are the books I read in 2015, accompanied by my thoughts about who should read them:

Delicious!
Ruth Reichl
Read this if you have a high tolerance for first-time novel attempts. (I do not.)

Unconditional Parenting
Alfie Kohn
Read this if you want to be super analytical about parenting and disciplining your child. (It was over my head.)

Benediction
Kent Haruf
Read this after Plainsong and Eventide and remember the talents of one of our country's great novelists. RIP.

Bad Feminist: Essays
Roxanne Gay
Read this if you're super into pop culture. (I am not.)

All the Light We Cannot See
Anthony Doerr
Read this if you breathe air and drink water. Best book I read this year.

On Immunity: An Inoculation
Eula Biss
Read this if you're angry about the anti-vaccination movement.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk
Adele Faber
Read this if you have a child, period. It's really good.

Yes Please
Amy Poehler
Read this if you love Parks and Rec and/or SNL.

Descent
Tim Johnston
Read this if you want to support local authors and also really enjoy excessive descriptions of smoking cigarettes.

Dept. of Speculation
Jenny Offill
Read this. You have time; it takes about an hour. It will be one of the most unique novels you pick up.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And other observations)
Mindy Kaling
Read this if you love Mindy Kaling and don't mind random anecdotes packaged in book form.

The Girl on the Train
Paula Hawkins
Read this if you enjoy mysteries and don't care so much about liking the characters in the story.

Motherhood Smotherhood
JJ Keith
Read this if you are fed up with lactivism, attachment parenting zealots, or anything labeled with the adjective "mom." And you have a sense of humor.

Attachments
Rainbow Rowell
Read this if you're looking for a great beach-type read that's still well written.

Love is a Mix Tape
Rob Sheffield
Read this if you loved music in the 1990s.

Theoretically Dead
Tinker Marks
Read this if you want to support local authors, as this was written by a duo of husband-wife professors from Grinnell College, and are intrigued by the category of "lesbian mystery."

Americanah
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Read this if you want to expand your understanding of intersectional feminism and/or the immigrant experience in America.

Go Set a Watchman
Harper Lee
Read this if you absolutely can't help yourself. To Kill a Mockingbird it is not.

Wonder
RJ Palacio
Read this if you like well-written youth literature, or have preteens at home to read to. It's about a child with a severe disfigurement but is neither depressing nor overly cheesy. Maybe a little cheesy in that "appropriate for youth" sort of way.

The Goldfinch
Donna Tartt
Read this Pulitzer Prize winner if you have a lot of free time, enjoy a lot of plot and character details, but don't necessarily care about character likability.

The Storied Life of AJ Fikry
Gabrielle Zevin
Read this if you're kind of a bibliophile who likes literary references and a creative story arc but don't necessarily care about great characters.

X
Sue Grafton
Read this if you love the Kinsey Millhone series. This is another stellar specimen.

This Town
Mark Leibovich
Read this if you're already cynical about politics and want to be even more so.

Happy New Year! What are you reading in 2016?

Blueberry Swirl Muffins with Lemon-Sugar Topping

I am not a fan of dense, heavy, dry muffins. And since a lot of muffins fall into this category, I've never been a big fan. But when I found this recipe for blueberry muffins in Cook's Illustrated "All-Time Best Recipes" issue, I was hooked. The key is to make a jam and swirl it through the muffins to add blueberry flavor, as opposed to just weighing it down with lots of whole blueberries (though a few of those are important, too).

This has become one of my go-to recipes for morning meetings and gatherings. People seem to really enjoy them. And for me, blueberry and lemon is an idea flavor combination. (See one of my favorite cake recipes.)

Here's how to make them. (Please note this isn't a one-pot recipe...)

BLUEBERRY SWIRL MUFFINS

For the lemon-sugar topping:
Combine 1/3 c. sugar and 1 1/2 tsp. fresh lemon zest in a bowl and set aside.

For the muffins:
2 c. blueberries
1 1/8 c. + 1 tsp. sugar
2 1/2 c. all-purpose flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
2 large eggs
1 c. buttermilk
1 tsp. salt
4 T. unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1/4 c. vegetable oil
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

Adjust oven track to upper-middle position and heat oven to 425. Spray 12-cup muffin tin with vegetable oil spray, line with paper if you wish.

Bring 1 c. blueberries and 1 tsp. sugar to simmer in a small saucepan over medium heat. Cook, mashing berries with a spoon and stirring frequently, until berries and broken down and mixture is thickened and reduced to 1/4 cup (about 6 mins.). Transfer to a small bowl and let cool to room temperature while you making the batter (about 15 mins.).

Whisk flour, baking powder, and salt together in a large bowl. Whisk remaining 1 1/8 c. sugar and eggs in a medium bowl until thick and homogenous, about 45 seconds. Slowly whisk in butter and oil until combined, then buttermilk and vanilla. Using a rubber spatula, fold egg mixture and remaining 1 c. blueberries into flour mixture until just moistened (do NOT overmix; dry spots will remain).

Divide batter evenly among prepared muffins cups and mound slightly. Spoon 1 tsp. cooked blueberry jam into the center of each and swirl in a figure-8 motion using a chopstick or skewer. Sprinkle lemon sugar topping evenly over muffins.

Bake until golden brown and toothpick inserted into center comes out with a few moist crumbs attached, about 17 minutes. Rotate the pan halfway through baking. Cool for at least 5 minutes before serving.

Sunday Supper

 

It was a busy Sunday at our house -- in fact, my husband's FitBit recorded more than 30,000 steps. So yeah, it was that kind of day -- even though it was Masters Sunday. Most of the day was consumed with chores and yardwork, with which our son, CJ, was an incredible help. But the busy day of mulching, power raking, laundry, shopping, grass seed spreading, and the like didn't leave behind a lot of time for cooking. So I was glad that my favorite recipe for Italian Sausage and Potato Frittata could come to the rescue. This healthy and satisfying dish comes together quickly and pairs great with a green salad (I added a Cara-Cara orange viniagrette that was light and refreshing on a sweaty day), crusty bread (are there really crustless breads?), and a fruit salad (can you say adorable mini watermelons?). And everyone in our house likes it, so there's that.

If you try this recipe (adapted from Cook's Country 30-Minute Suppers), don't skip the fresh basil. It makes the dish!

ITALIAN SAUSAGE AND POTATO FRITTATA

10 large eggs

3/4 c. grated Parmesan cheese, divided
3 T. half and half
4 T. minced fresh basil
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. fresh-cracked black pepper
1 russet potato, peeled and sliced thinly
6 oz. (about two links) Italian sausage (I used Niman Ranch sweet, but hot also works), casings removed

Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 450. Whisk eggs, 1/2 c. of the parmesan, half and half, basil, salt, and pepper together in a bowl; set aside. Place sliced potato in a microwave safe covered bowl and nuke about 4 mins. (This is part of what makes this meal so fast.)

While potato is cooking, brown sausage in a 10-inch skillet for about 8 mins. over medium high heat, breaking up pieces with a spoon. Stir in potato and reduce heat to medium. Add egg mixture and cook until large curds form but eggs are still very wet, about 3 mins. Shake skillet to distribute eggs, without stirring, and sprinkle with remaining 1/4 c. parmesan on top. Bake until golden brown, about 8 mins.

It was a hearty meal for a busy, egg-lovin' guy.

 

Easter Funday

 

It was a very exciting Easter 2015 for CJ, who loves hunting for eggs, eating copious amounts of sugar, and is apparently not at all scared of people in Easter Bunny costumes (go figure). At age 3 1/2, he pretty much rocked the 0-3 age division of this year's "Eggs Eggs Everywhere" hunt at Western Gateway Park. And by far his favorite Easter basket item was what I affectionately refer to as "mega-chick" -- a really huge wind-up chick that CJ assumes is the "Mommy" of his little wind-up chick. Apparently the concept that chicks are chickens has escaped him to this point.

Mega Chick takes no prisoners.

We had a really beautiful morning yesterday in Des Moines, so of course we hit the front yard for an Easter Egg hunt. Since CJ's cousin is barely 1 and doesn't walk yet, he didn't have any competition for our Sunday morning hunt. Needless to say, we're now swimming in candy at our house. Everyone just enjoyed being out in the gorgeous weather and assessing exactly how much mulching we still have to do at our place.

 

 

 

And since my favorite food is brunch (I refuse to be any more specific as I love any and all brunch foods), I was more than excited to cook a meal at our house, including a really simple and yummy raspberry ricotta cake recipe I found in the March issue of Bon Appetit magazine that was the perfect accompaniment to a big meal on a sunny spring morning.

RASPBERRY-RICOTTA CAKE

Nonstick vegetable oil spray
1 1/2 c. all-purpose flour
1 c. sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. kosher salt
3 large eggs
1 1/2 c. ricotta
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 c. (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
1 c. frozen raspberries, divided

Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9-inch cake pan with parchment paper and lightly coat with nonstick spray.

Whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl and set aside. Whisk eggs, ricotta, and vanilla in a medium bowl until smooth; fold in dry ingredients until just blended. Then fold in butter, followed by 3/4 cup of the raspberries. Scrape batter into prepared pan and scatter remaining 1/4 cup raspberries over the top.

Bake cake until golden brown and a tester inserted into the center comes out clean, appx. 50-60 mins. Let cool at least 20 mins. before removing from pan. Can be made up to 2 days a head. Store tightly wrapped at room temperature.

Hope everyone had a happy weekend!

Everything you always wanted to know about calling anonymous women sluts via Twitter but were afraid to ask

I'm pretty much just like celebrated Little League pitcher and female sports pioneer Mo'Ne Davis. Except I'm not good at playing baseball. Or 13 years old. Or ever included in the SportsCenter Top Ten. Or a paragon of moral rectitude. But she and I both got called whores on Twitter this week. There's that. And, yeah, that's pretty much all we have in common.

Point of clarification: I was called a whore. Bloomsburg University baseball player Joey Casselberry referred to Davis as a "slut," actually. He was reprimanded and even kicked off his college team for his tweet. Harsh, perhaps, but he was stupid and he made a choice. But of course, as the 24-hour news cycle collapsed around the story it quickly became Mo'Ne Davis' responsibility to fix the situation, even though she had no involvement whatsoever in either the tweet or the punishment. Davis contacted Bloomsburg University and asked officials to reconsider Casselberry's suspension. She publicly acknowledged that hey, people are sick of hearing about me and that is probably why this guy who doesn't know me felt it was okay to refer to me as a slut even though I am a mere child and he didn't mean it literally and I hope this doesn't affect the status of my Disney Channel biopic.

As I read the NPR story praising Davis for her benevolent actions, I honestly wanted to throw up. Not because I had any problem with what Mo'Ne Davis did or how she handled the situation, but because this is the messed-up way our society works. You're only allowed to be a little bit offended by misogyny (or racism or {{insert name of bad behavior here}}), and the responsibility always falls back on women (or people of color, or {{insert name of marginalized group here}}) to react in just the right way. It is NOT Mo'Ne Davis' responsibility to make Joey Casselberry feel better about acting like a jerk on the Internet. Except that it is.

The Internet is great for so many things -- getting life-changing information about how to peel a mango, for example. But it's also a great place to meet narcissistic psychopaths. I'm glad I'm not a famous female athlete or feminist author or movie star, because all those people get all day is Trolly McTrollerson Troll-Trolls. Despicable trolls. I would not even begin to try and compare what was said to me this week by an anonymous person with any of the abuse those aforementioned women have to endure just to be on Twitter.

But yes, this week I was told via Twitter to "Shut up, whore" for presumably no reason. I guess I was saying something annoying; I don't really know. I made a "sad trombone" joke about the NCAA tournament...? Four people favorited it. No one else complained. I dunno. The narcissistic psychopathic who contacted me, I think, believes he is funny. I didn't think he was. I blocked and reported him.

Do I think that, in referring to me as a whore, he is literally suggesting that I routinely sell sexual favors out of a minivan on the corner of 86th and Hickman? No. But that is completely NOT THE POINT. That's why he thought I was offended, though. Actually, it's why he thought my husband was offended; I had nothing to say about the matter, but my husband got a teeny tiny bit enraged. (God bless my husband, by the way, for things like this still bothering him; he has been living in a college-educated feminist man bubble for about 37 years. Also: Why am I putting all my family members in bubbles this week?). But of course the implication was obvious: I am the one who is supposed to tell my husband not to worry about it because if I am also offended by the "joke" then I'm just a crazy feminist.

Here's the thing about feminism and the Internet, though: Hardly anyone seems to understand what feminism actually is. (Thank you to The Onion for making this point hilariously last October.) I realize that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for podcasts about intersectional feminism or routinely studies up on infant feeding policy, but I do believe we all have a little bit of feminist inside of us. Today I call upon all citizens to embrace one simple piece of advice about relating to today's woman -- every woman, whether she's as nice as Mo'Ne Davis or as cranky as I am:

Don't call a woman you don't know a slut or a whore, even as a joke, even if anyone on Earth thinks it's even remotely funny.

And that is all. Have a nice weekend, everyone.

Deep thoughts from the innocence bubble

It was a rainy Tuesday afternoon, and I was picking up my 3 1/2-year-old son from daycare. He got excited as soon as I walked in the room -- maybe because he was seeing me, maybe because he was now free to run about the building and break the rules; I'm not sure. But after offering me a glancing peck on the cheek he ran, as he always does, to his favorite "center:" the sprawling "large motor" area. He normally hops on a small plastic exercise bike and pedals for a personal record while I collect the papers and spare clothes from his locker and start the long process of begging him to come home with me now please can we get out of here don't you want to get home and help me start dinner now please just put your coat on so we can go. But this time he bypassed the bike and instead approached a large bin full of tangled plastic pipes in various primary colors. He grabbed a long, green one in his thick white fingers and smiled broadly. Then he took another piece of pipe -- a curved blue one -- and carefully pushed the end of it into the green pipe. He knew what he was doing.

"I'M GONNA MAKE A GUN, MOMMY."

My heart dropped. I knew the day was coming when he'd see something or hear something or learn something about guns, but I was hoping he would maybe please be 25 or 26 years old. I looked on in horrified silence as he circled the room, waving his creation in the air and aiming it toward doorways and piles of nap cots and construction paper-festooned bulletin boards.

"GUN! GUN! GUN! GUN! GUN!" he shouted enthusiastically.

As I sat there wishing I was a toddler whisperer or that I'd at least read some sort of book or article about how to talk to small children about guns, I told myself to say something productive that wouldn't make the situation worse. Finally, I willed my mouth to open and just form the simplest question I could muster:

Hmmmm. What's that for?

"FOR SQUIRTING APPLES," he replied gleefully. "SQUIRT, SQUIRT, SQUIRT."

My relief was immediate. I got in on the game, opening my mouth wide so he could launch imaginary apples into it. Posing questions about the variety of apple that was being "squirted" -- Are these Pink Ladies, Gala, or Honeycrisp? Laughing with my child at the thought of such a funny object. For my toddler, it turns out a gun can just be a silly toy that feeds hungry people a nutritious snack. I wanted to cry. I wanted to breathe a deep sign of relief. I wanted to take my little apple squirter and put him in a plastic time preservation bubble, crawl into it with him, and stay there forever.

I realized I'm starting to understand that horrible thing that nearly every parent hates and fears: my child's loss of innocence. I know he has to grow up and become worldly and learn to defend himself and develop deeper levels of empathy and read Kafka and get a driver's license, but there is just something so wonderful about innocence that makes my heart get big and my eyes get wet when I think about it. I love that he has it. I never want it to go away.

I love when my son waves hello to a passerby from his tricycle and later swells with pride in reporting how he met someone new. I don't want him to ever have to be afraid of saying hello to a neighbor on the sidewalk.

I love that my son gets genuinely enthusiastic about helping me bake cookies. I want him to always want to help me, and I never want anyone to tell him that cookies are bad for you or make you fat or tell him that it's not okay to be fat or to eat a cookie.

I love that my son loves things like popping soap bubbles, clearing the dinner table, and giving the contents of his piggy bank to sick children at the hospital because of how those acts make him or others feel inside. I never want him to not do those things, nor do I want him to ever do them for any other reason.

But I know all of these things will change, and probably sooner than I want them to. And in my mind, that's okay because those changes are part of growing up and becoming who you are.

But in my heart, I see the appeal of that bubble. I understand why helicopter parenting is so popular. Yes, it's overprotective. And yes, it's wrong. But maybe there's something admirable in wanting to preserve that childhood innocence for as long as possible. In covering their eyes during the scary scenes. In kissing their injuries. In believing that guns squirt apples.

Just give me a few more months of this, please?

Ode to Snow

It's March in Iowa, which means two things: winter is starting to wind down, and we're probably due for more snow. Like last year, a lot of this winter's snowfalls were followed by freezing temperatures that were a major disappointment to my 3-year-old son, who just wants to play in the snow.

But there was at least one perfect day for playing in the snow a few weeks ago -- though the snow was melting quickly in the warm sunshine. But we made it over to Wakonda Club for their sledding day event and had an absolute blast. Here are some pictures I finally snagged off my iPhone of the glorious morning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 May your spring days be filled with sledding! Happy March from the Bruns family!

2014 Recap: Excessive Docu-Momming Edition!

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was May 2011 and I was traveling in Italy, five months pregnant with my son CJ. I thought it would be special to pick up a handmade paper book there and use it as my child's baby book. I would artistically mount photographs, I told myself, document every milestone in a beautiful calligraphic script, and treasure the book forever.

But looks like I just use Twitter to record stuff.

Last year, I posted a recap of 2013 in tweets about my child -- mostly his hilarious quotes, and it ended up being a really good way to document CJ's development. Well, it was superior by default because it's the only thing I've done. So a few weeks ago, I set out to create a similar recap for 2014. But Twitter only had my tweets back to March 16, and all attempts to request my archive have fallen on deaf ears. Turns out @Support isn't actually so at supportive.

So, I regret that I've lost two months of my son's life to the Twitter machine. But I'll pick it up with Georges Niang's bloody eye against Kansas in the Big 12 tournament, because that's really when life got good last year, anyway. No?

So here's 2014 in CJ:

March 16: @GeorgesNiang20 is now the poster child-slash-reference point for "owies" at our house. "JorgNan is feeling better," 2-yr-old CJ says.

March 16: CJ couldn't stay up last night, so we showed video this AM. "Eye-lones cut down the white part of the hoop with orange scissors." RIGHT ON.

March 18: CJ: "No, don't give me a kiss, Mommy. I'm already happy."

March 19: "Next week!" = CJ's way of saying farewell, even if it's just a 5-minute separation.

March 23: CJ this morning: "Mommy, take my picture." Me: "Okay. Smile!"

March 26: Kid always wants to wants to watch "Eyelones," so eyelones.tv always appeases. But tonight he's asking for "different Eyelones." So spoiled.

March 30: My dad was w/ my colicky niece last night. CJ: "Where's Grandpa?" Gma: "Everyone's taking a turn holding Whitney." CJ: "I don't want my turn."

April 2: CJ at 8 p.m.: “I don’t wanna wear a SleepSack.” Me: “OK, are you sure? You might get cold.” CJ at 2:30 a.m.: “PUT MY SLEEPSACK ON, MOMMY!”

April 6: CJ on his breakfast of blueberry pancakes and sausage: “I’m excited to eat pancakes, Mommy! And I’m happy to see some meat.”

April 10: Gma to CJ after he forbade her from “turning left:” “Aren’t you being a little bossy?” CJ: “No, Grandma. I’m being BIG bossy.” Fair enough.

April 16: CJ, describing his strawberry yogurt this morning: “It’s good. Just like fresh strawberries from a bowl.”

April 18: Parenting win: My 2 ½-year-old son says he wants to be like Hallie Christofferson when he grows up.

April 19: According to CJ, Ben has an NFC Championship Trophy, only in gold. It’s a plastic fantasy football trophy, but same difference.

April 19: CJ, yelling in Daddy’s backswing at the golf course: “I’M GONNA BE REAL QUIET FOR YOU, DADDY.” #golfetiquette #nailedit
 

May 2: CJ described his Easter candy as tasting “like European chocolate.”

May 4: CJ is in his crib chanting “LET’S GO STATE! LET’S GO STATE!” Guess it’s time to get up. #lovethatkid

May 4: CJ’s review of Sesame Street Live: “I liked it a little bit. It was a little bit too dark and a little bit too loud. Let’s not go to a show.”

May 7: My 2-year-old has started concluding all stories he tells with a singsong “ANY-way…”

May 7: That was my kid hollering “HERE FISHY FISHY” into the koi pond at the Ankeny Waterfront Seafood tonight. Cuz of this.

May 12: Brunch at Wakonda Club and Des Moines Symphony with my mom made for a great Mother’s Day. Also getting sprayed with a garden hose by my 2-year-old.

May 18: What color cars do you like to play with, Mommy? Me: Well, I like blue, black, and red best. CJ: Here. You have yellow and green, Mommy.

May 21: CJ on toast: “Mommy, take off the crunchy parts?” #maybemissingthepoint

May 22: After I turn out the lights at bedtime: “Mommy, I can’t see my tongue!” #toddlerproblems

June 4: Dear Nestle: If you print an upside-down rabbit on your milk bottle, an OCD 2-year-old WILL turn it over & spill the contents everywhere.

June 8: CJ at bedtime: “Mommy, I’m gonna tell you something. First, this is a point. Okay? Now I am pointing at a chair.” Okay, boss. Got it.

June 9: Listening to Alt Nation w/ CJ yesterday. Just a few bars into a song, he says: “Is this ‘Out of My League?’” Yes. Yes, it was. #altrockbaby

June 13: CJ on Father’s Day: “Is there gonna be a tree, like at Christmas?”

June 15: The other day, CJ, seemingly out of nowhere, busted out a “Light it up, up, up…I’m on FY-AHHHHH!” #fallouttoddler

June 25: Eavesdropping on the nursery monitor as CJ talks to his stuffed toy owl, post-nap: “I just picked my nose, Owl!” That’s DISGUSTING! Ahahahaha!”

July 1: Realized tonight that CJ thinks people fly ON, not in, airplanes. After I told him Daddy was flying tonight, CJ worried that he’d fall off.

July 7: CJ & Granny always tell me before I leave on Monday morning not to work too hard. Today Ceej added: “Work softly, Mommy.” #mykidlovesadverbs

July 9: CJ was just the quietest he’s been in 2+ hours – after about 10 seconds of not talking. Next thing out of his mouth? “Mommy, do you have a penis?”

July 10: CJ: “Is it July?” Me: “Yes.” CJ, 5 seconds later: “Is it July now?” “Yes.” Five seconds after that: “Is it still July?” #couldbealongmonth

July 10: CJ’s summer vocab: Pool noodle=“tool noodle” and playing tennis="playing Tennessee."

July 19: CJ, shopping for baby carrots today: “They’re babies? [pause, concerned look] Does that cucumber [next to the carrots] take care of them?”

July 23: Every time we pass the bulldozers & construction equipment razing buildings on Ingersoll, I have to reassure CJ that they won’t tear down our house.

July 23: CJ, after blasting a chip shot over the practice green tonight: “Oh, Lordy! What did I do? Jesus! JEEEE-SUS!” Too much golfing with @benbruns.

July 31: CJ saw a dead ant on the sidewalk 2 weeks ago. I’ve spent every bedtime since assuring him there’s “no dead ant” and that a “birdie ate it.”

August 21: Is there anything sweeter than your toddler telling you at the end of a trying day that you look pretty? The answer is no. There is not.

August 22: CJ: “What does that orange sign say?” Me: “It says road work.” CJ: “AHEAD. It says Road Work AHEAD, Mommy.” I have a Mini-Me on my hands.

August 23: B was just on a conference call in our house. Pretty sure there was at least one “Mommy, did you clog the toilet?” yelled in the background.

August 23: Isiserettes + music + pizza + froyo + fresh-squeezed lemonade + dunk tank + train rides + bouncy house + balloon ani-mannals=CJ loved his first Ingersoll Live!

August 25: CJ to @benbruns, after Daddy painted a spot on the kitchen ceiling: “Oh, Daddy! You did a gorgeous job with that!”

August 25: This morning CJ played a game of “trucks drink lemon beer” with some wooden pickups and cans of Leinie’s Summer Shandy from our mini fridge.

September 4: If CJ’s turning 3 tomorrow, why did I have to unbend his elbows for him at bedtime tonight?

September 17: “Mommy, sing me one song before bed.” (I start singing "Twinkle, Twinkle") “No, Mommy! A song about sanitation workers!”

October 1: The burning question that’s torturing my 3-year-old today is “Why don’t we own a dunk tank?”

October 4: Would love if 3-year-old could find happy medium between crying if I get up to pee and “Mommy, stay out of here while I’m playing trains!”

October 4: CJ on the baseball game he saw briefly on TV today: “That’s a funny way to play golf, Mommy.”

October 6: Made the mistake of saying one of my potted plants “looked sad.” CJ spent some time consoling it this weekend. He remains concerned.

October 8: I estimate that my 3-year-old asked me 120 questions, many of them starting with “why,” between 5:30-7:30 p.m. last night. Not exaggerating.

October 14: “Mommy, it looks pretty on your face.”

October 17: CJ, reading the end of “Clifford’s Animal Sounds:” What does Clifford say? Clifford says bow wow – yippy yo, yippy yay. #probablymyfault #snooppuppy

October 24: It was Halloween costume day at CJ’s school. We’re bringing back the beloved pumpkin this year.

October 29: CJ: “Abraham Lincoln!” Me: “How do you know about Abraham Lincoln?” CJ, in condescending tone: “Well, he WAS the president, Mommy.” #served

October 31: CJ enjoyed trick-or-treating last night, but also handing out candy at our house and tattling on the kids who didn’t say “thank you.” Sigh.

November 1: From roughly May-Oct., wearing flip-flops was the equivalent of Chinese water torture for CJ. Now on Nov. 1, he wants to wear them to bed.

November 2: Daddy didn’t advance in the human foosball tourney and the Packers are idle, so park it is.

November 2: CJ on the stripes on his track suit: “I look like I play for the Drake Bulldogs today.”

November 4: CJ’s favorite toy currently is a talking Taco Bell Chihuahua with a Y2K party hat that says “Happy New Year, Amigos.” #longstory

November 5: Thanks to @benbruns, CJ is roaming around the house singing “Pinball wizard, it has to be a trick…something, something, something…”

November 5: More “Pinball Wizard” from CJ this evening: “How do you think he does it? What makes him so good? CARROTS!”

November 5: Sitting at the dining room table sharing a yellow cake I made with my 3-year-old, he asked me if I like myself. #freetherapy

November 6: Since Ben was traveling, I let CJ be in charge of dinner last night. He served Annie’s boxed mac & cheese, corn, cuties, & boxed mix cake.

November 8: A street sweeper is on our corner picking up leaves and putting them in a dump truck. #greatestthingthathaseverhappened

November 8: CJ: “I don’t wanna wear jammies. I’ll just wear my skin.”

November 12: “Edward is chuffing happily into the tomatoes.”

November 14: “Why are you wearing Cyclones, Mommy?” Me: “We’re playing Oakland tonight.” Cue CJ running around the house chanting “BEAT THE RAIDERS.”

November 15: K, you try not to laugh when a 3-year-old in dino PJs & a pumpkin costume beret gets in your face and growls “I don’t like Rutherford B. Hayes.”

November 16: My 3-year-old on courtside seats: “Why do we have to sit ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE?!” #firstworldtoddlerproblems

November 17: CJ, on the baby whose picture is on the back of the package of baby wipes: “I don’t know him, but I don’t like that guy.”

November 19: Today CJ is starting every sentence with “I’m from Tidmouth Sheds.” As in, “I’m from Tidmouth Sheds, and I’ll finish my burger after my nap.”

November 23: Went to my awesome women’s book group tonight. CJ informed me there would be guys’ book club at home. They discussed “Rainforest Colors.”

November 25: If my 3-year-old is picking his boogers and eating them during a youth symphony performance, should I just be happy that he’s being quiet?

December 3: Ask a toddler to smile, and this is what you get. Every. Time.

December 4: “Mommy, what kind of a name for a song is ‘Spaghetti to Look a Lot Like Christmas?’”

December 7: My 3-year-old’s current obsession: the photocopier. Evidence all over his bedroom.

December 13: Listening to my 3-year-old try to sing “Say Geronimo” is maybe one of the cutest things ever.

December 15: The Dr. Suess book “Wacky Wednesday” sends my toddler into convulsions of laughter.

December 24: CJ on the smattering of snow we woke up to: “But we can still make a snow fort…”

December 29: CJ’s room, currently. The kid is in to puzzles.

December 31: My 3-year-old noticed Jameel McKay’s red and green shoes and speculated that he got them from Santa.

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ADDENDUM! Here are the tweets from Jan. 1- March 15, thanks to "AllMyTweets.net" and my friend Adam who told me about it.

January 4: CJ, talking to himself at dinner tonight: "Look at you, CJ! That's a hard job, peeling a Cutie.

January 5: CJ's wakeup babbling/imaginary play this morning, per monitor: "Go away, turtle! Don't bite Mommy!" Thanks for looking out for me, Buddy.

January 8: Got a back scratcher in our family's white elephant exchange this year. CJ is a big fan now of the "scratch backer."

January 15: That awkward moment when you realize you've accidentally done something helpful & caring for your fiercely independent 2-year-old & there's gonna be hell to pay

January 30: 2-yr-old made me play Capital Cities' "Center Stage" 5x in a row last night. Told me to "have a good time" in different rooms of the house. 

February 1: CJ just asked me why he didn't get to see Grandpa today. I told him Papa had to go to Waterloo. Pause. "Yeah," he nodded. "Water IS loose." 

February 6: At least one member of our family still has Broncos Fever. Two-year-old CJ woke up today chanting "Omaha, Omaha." 

February 8: Please someone offer to give me a dollar every time I say, "Please sit down in your car seat. Sit down. Sit. Sit down in your car seat NOW."

February 8: CJ just cheered on ISU during an instant replay and then, after Ejim sank the jumper, turned to me and said "I called it!" #thisismykid 

February 11: Explained to CJ how the Cyclones didn't win. "It's OK," he said. "Keep trying. Keep shooting." If Fred needs a motivational guest speaker...

February 12: Was listening to Jim James' A-E-I-O-U in the car. Pretty soon here comes a croon from the backseat: "And Bingo was his name-o. 

February 16: My 2-year-old told me my hair looks cute today. Feb 16, 2014

February 17: Nursery monitor this morning: Hey, Kate! KATE! KATE! HEY, KATE! Hey! Hey! Kaaaaaate! 

February 20: Soon as you finish food on your dinner plate, CJ scoops you some more. My 2-year-old son is an Italian grandmother. #youreskinandbones

February 20: Parent tip: Said goddammit in front of your 2-yr-old? You CAN convince him you actually said "got damaged." Not that I know from experience. 

February 25: CJ's & Ben's last 2 nights' evening activity has been watching Golf Channel while building a LEGO fire station. @benbruns is in Dad Heaven. 

March 2: Now that my husband's an uncle and my brother's a daddy, not sure to whom CJ is referring when he says "Uncle Daddy." But it's quite cute. 

March 5: My 2-year-old son and cyclones.tv devotee on Paul Rhoads: "That man makes loud noises, Mommy!" #Cyclones

March 6: My 2-year-old LOVES @FitzAndTantrums. Every time we get in the car he says, "Want Break Da Walls!" then is thrilled for "Walker Song" after 

March 7: Not sure there's anything left for me to teach my kid now that he can engage in a Hello, Newman/Hello, Jerry exchange w/ proper inflection.

March 8: CJ, counting backward with the book "Five Little Ladybugs:" 5, 4, 3, 2, Lowercase L. He's not sure what's a letter & what's a number yet. 

March 9: Reedy-raider=how CJ says the word "radiator."

March 15: My 2-year-old and I are stress eating a cheesecake like The Golden Girls. #Cyclones

March 15: Things I let my kid do tonight so I could watch #ISUvsKU: eat a napkin, play w/ my phone charger, consume copious amounts of M&Ms #parenting