Mac attack

December Death Storm is apparently headed our way tomorrow, so I recommend we all start eating heavily. Nothing says "snowed in" quite like a hot, hearty, and not-too-healthy meal; when it comes to comfort food, I happen to love my recipe for macaroni and cheese. It's decadent and delicious. Because if you're going to eat macaroni and cheese for dinner, you might as well go all out. And when I say "all out," I'm talking bacon here.

MAC AND CHEESE WITH PANCETTA

5 T. butter, divided
4 oz. thinly sliced good pancetta (I like Iowa's own La Quercia), torn/chopped
1/2 a yellow onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
1/4 c. all-purpose flour
3 1/2 c. whole milk
1 1/2 c. shredded cheddar cheese
1 c. grated parmesan/romano cheese
1 c. Velveeta
8 oz. marscapone
1 c. Italian bread crumbs
1/4 c. chopped Italian flat leaf parsley
1 lb. elbow macaroni

Melt 1/2 T. butter in a medium skillet over mid-high heat. Add pancetta and saute about 6 mins. Add onion, followed by crushed red pepper and garlic. Stir constantly, cooking until onions begin to brown. Add 2 1/2 T. butter, allow it to melt, and then stir in flour. Whisk in milk and simmer.

Pour pan contents into bowl and whisk in cheeses. Return pan to heat and melt 2 T. butter, scraping the bottom of the pan as the butter melts. Add bread crumbs and cook until dark but not burnt. Turn off heat and add parsley, stirring frequently to create topping.

Preheat oven to 350 and butter a 13x9 baking dish. Cook pasta and drain well. Mix cooked pasta and cheese sauce in the baking dish, stirring to coat pasta completely with sauce. Sprinkle crumb/parsley mixture on top and bake 30 minutes. Garnish with fresh parsley and serve.

Smoky, cheesy, and yum. Enjoy!

The Finial Countdown

I'm surveying the renovated walk-in closet in a for-sale Des Moines home when I hear my 15-month-old son making ape noises in the next room. I glance around the corner to discover him circling a four-poster bed, his arms stretched above his head as he exclaims, "Ooh, ooh, oooooh! Pretty! Pretty! Oooooh!"

"Oh," my husband says to the realtor in a sheepish tone, rumpling his face as he quickly assesses the situation. "He really likes finials."

Yes, finials. The decorative ornaments found on the ends of flagpoles, bedposts, grandfather clocks, and curtain rods. He freaking loves them.

There was never much question that my husband's and my offspring would end up being a little...well, different. But even I have to admit: This finial thing can be a little hard to explain. I believe the obsession started at my parents' house, where CJ fell in love with the grandfather clock much as he had done at our house. For whatever reason, my mom once removed the finials from the clock and handed them to him as part of the process of "visiting" the item. Being a toddler who loves routine and being perhaps also slightly weird, CJ insisted on examining and replacing the finials each time thereafter. From there, he began holding finials while having his diaper changed on my parents' four-poster bed, inspiring the sentence my mom says proves the English language contains infinite combinations of words:

"Don't get finials in the poop."
-- My dad

My son manhandling yet
another innocent finial.

My son also likes to peer-pressure other children into liking finials. When we took him to the Festival of Trees and Lights after Thanksgiving, he loved the lighted trees as we expected. But what we didn't anticipate, of course, was that the sitting area at the festival was decorated with white planter boxes that each had FOUR finials. Low-to-the-ground finials, even, which required no adult assistance. CJ walked from finial to finial for at least a half an hour, and before we left he had recruited a 12-month-old little girl to help him touch them.

We've also found that finials are a gateway to fenceposts and lampshade ornaments. If it's ornamental and we walk past it, CJ lunges. There's really no way to tell how this will end.

He's either destined for a career in architecture or souvenir spoonsmithing or it's just a phase and we'd might as well just let him get his fix of finials.

Just don't get them in the poop.

Time to trim

This weekend I have been slowly but surely hauling out the Christmas decorations. And I have to be honest: I'm not planning to get them all out this year. Between some of the non-holiday-decoration-friendly interior design choices I've made in our house, the smallness of our house, and all the other stuff going on in our lives right now, simplicity seemed the right option yet again this year. I do have dreams of someday owning a bigger house and spiffing it all up for the holidays. Just as soon as I get all that extra time and money I've been needing...

But here are some of my favorites that I just had to drag out of their basement hiding spots. Because, you know, Merry Christmas.

1. Fun artificial wreath purchased a few years ago from Nell Hill's
2. Stockings hung by the chimney with care -- mine, which was made by my late Great Aunt Norma when I was a child; CJ's, which I purchased from Pottery Barn Kids but embroidered myself (I was looking for the homemade look and achieved it quite nicely due to my lack of skill); and Ben's, which is neither old nor handmade and needs a little TLC.
3. Santa Claus, which was painted by my late grandfather and is breakable and therefore needs to be kept out of CJ's reach forever and ever.
4. A very old snow glow candle, which was also made by my late grandpa and therefore I will likely never burn. (They look so pretty when they're burning, though...)
5. Flameless candles decorated with holiday scenes, purchased on clearance from Pottery Barn Kids last year (I also have Halloween ones. For some reason, I can't resist these.)
6. One of my many Yankee candles. (Always love when they send their seasonal coupons.) Yankee makes some awesome holiday scents, especially Christmas Tree and Christmas Wreath. Anything that smells like fresh holiday greenery, including actual fresh holiday greenery, is a-okay in my book.
7. Waechstersbach snowman mugs -- a gift from my mother-in-law after we first got married
8. A decorative bowl with a surprise inside -- a recent gift from my mom, who remembers how much I loved my childhood mug with a little bear at the bottom.

Fundraising strategies I clearly do not understand.

Charities love me. There are two main reasons for this: 1) I am generous by nature; and 2) unlike 90% of people in my generation, I still have a home phone number and even frequently answer it during the day. (The odd combination of my techy profession/interests with my aversion to most things techy being the subject of another post for another day.) So for these reasons and some others, my husband (also generous and a guilt-by-association home phone answerer) and I are pretty charitable folks.

But lately I've noticed two trends that are sort of crushing my charitable spirit, or at least making me tired.

The first one is the mysterious "annual fund drive" that happens at LEAST twice a year. Much like the Victoria's Secret "semi-annual sale," which as far as I can tell is an omnipresent vat of padded E-cup bras and ill-fitting underpants in strange patterns that you're welcome to fish through at any time, the purported frequency of this event does not reflect reality. In fact, I recently had one charity contact me less than a month after a donation to thank me for my gift "last year" and see if I'd be willing to contribute again this year. I am definitely stupid, but not that stupid. And hey, I get it: After an organization figures out you're willing to give, you're just going to get more and more requests because you're where their money comes from. But I'm not a big fan of lying, so please stop doing this because lying indeed is what it is.

The second one that's wearing me out is the "send five letters to your neighbors three months from now" request. Of course I am willing to do this, but is it really the most efficient way to raise funds? Couldn't I just send you a donation equivalent to the cost of five stamps? (Whatever a stamp costs now; I've honestly lost track. Fifty cents? I know they were 22 cents throughout most of my childhood. Kids today probably have no idea what stamps are.) Because by the time you call me, call me three more times to thank me and see if I have "any questions" about the mailing, ship me a giant packet of stuff, and follow up eleventy nine times to see if I have collected any money yet, you probably could have mailed those letters (and more) yourself. Honestly, I'd love to hear from someone who works in fundraising who can explain this technique to me, because I'm not seeing the value. And yes, I am mailing letters for three different groups again this year. And no, I don't expect to get a good response from my neighbors this time, either. And yes, I realize it is me and little old ladies who do this and maybe I should disconnect our home phone and why don't I just get an iPhone already.

Just call me Ethel. And please give generously to your favorite causes this holiday season! Because even if it is sometimes annoying, that is what this season is all about.