I love geeks. Sometimes I actually wish I were a BIGGER geek. And while I certainly don't mean to imply that most of the people featured in the movie Wordplay are geeks (Okay, Ellen the baton-twirler strolling through Manhattan with the broke ass golf umbrella is an awesome geek, but she's an exception), it definitely celebrates the geek qualities I love and to which I can on some levels relate. Like recognizing that the word "admired" is an anagram for "married." And thinking it's fun to stay inside and play word games while other people are out drinking Bacardi with their underwear on their head. Or whatever.
So first, a confession: I cried during the movie. Not surprising, I suppose, since I bawl like a baby during things like the Scripps spelling bee and minor athletic competitions in which I have no investment. It's a quirk, okay? And quirks are supposed to be endearing, I think. Either that, or I'm just a total weirdo.
Either way, Wordplay is a tear-jerker of a gem. It's very well-edited; it had just enough human interest to make it great for non-puzzle lovers and just enough puzzle to stimulate the brain. And I loved all the contestants, and not just because Tyler was wearing a really pants-kicking Trogdor T-shirt (See! A Homestar Runner reference! I'm a geek!) You could really relate to them, even though they are all so much smarter than I am that playing Scrabble with them would sort of be like golfing with Annika Sorenstam. (Okay, make that maybe Michelle Wie. I'm far worse at golf than I am at word games.)
And for those of you who have love/hate relationships with William Jefferson Clinton (one of the celebrities featured in the film) like I do, this movie is just another thing that will make you long for the days when we had a smart president -- but also, of course, make you remember how he was too smart to be so stupid and subsequently want to pinch his head off and kick it down the street. But he looks very nice in the movie wearing his aqua tie and doing his little crossword puzzles with his blue felt-tip pen. Damn him!
But go see Wordplay. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and all that crap. This is why I don't review movies for a living. Just see it.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Saturday, July 22, 2006
The only thing that would make this cooler is if it had happened on a plane
So you probably already heard the news. I mean, Israel and Lebanon are out of control and the Voting Rights Act passed and the weather is wreaking all sorts of havoc. But the news story of the week just had to be the Burmese python that ate an entire queen-sized electric blanket -- cord, control box, and all.
According to CNN, Houdini the snake (who, for what it's worth, does not do much air travel even though he often visits schools for educational demonstrations) had the blanket in his living quarters after his owner placed it there to keep him warm. While left unsupervised, the snake managed to unplug, and then eat the. entire. thing. "X-rays showed the tangle of the blanket's wiring extending through about 8 feet of the python's digestive tract," the article states. "The surgery to remove it took an 18-inch incision."
Experts on Reptile Blanket-Eating estimate it took Houdini six hours to devour the item, which could have killed him had surgeons not been able to operate.
But doctors say the snake, which mostly travels via SUV, is alive and well with a good prognosis. I think we all feel better knowing that if one of us, or the snake we love, eats an entire electric blanket, modern medicine can indeed save us. I can sleep tonight now. Just not with an electric blanket.
According to CNN, Houdini the snake (who, for what it's worth, does not do much air travel even though he often visits schools for educational demonstrations) had the blanket in his living quarters after his owner placed it there to keep him warm. While left unsupervised, the snake managed to unplug, and then eat the. entire. thing. "X-rays showed the tangle of the blanket's wiring extending through about 8 feet of the python's digestive tract," the article states. "The surgery to remove it took an 18-inch incision."
Experts on Reptile Blanket-Eating estimate it took Houdini six hours to devour the item, which could have killed him had surgeons not been able to operate.
But doctors say the snake, which mostly travels via SUV, is alive and well with a good prognosis. I think we all feel better knowing that if one of us, or the snake we love, eats an entire electric blanket, modern medicine can indeed save us. I can sleep tonight now. Just not with an electric blanket.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Gimme the works
Among my favorite childhood memories are our annual trips to watch the 4th of July fireworks over the golf course at Sunnyside Country Club in Waterloo (No, we were not members of the country club, but they let the "riff-raff" in for fireworks every year.) The grass upon which we spread our blankets was green and lush, and Mom and Dad would always give my little brother and me a few packages of sparklers to burn through in the dusk as we waited for the show to begin. We got to stay up late. We usually stopped for ice cream afterward. When you're a kid, it doesn't get much better.
There were people all around us on blankets and in lawn chairs, but as a child I never even noticed them. Our family was in its own little world as the colored streaks slashed across the black sky and the Off! repellent kept our bony little ankles reasonably free of mosquito bites. Some years I, rife with sanguine patriotism, would just lie flat on my back on the plaid blanket and focus only on the bursts of pink, blue, and gold above me.
This year's trip to 4th of July fireworks reminded me very little of those placid nights at Sunnyside. This year, Ben and I camped out on an easement at 70th Street and Aurora Avenue in Des Moines. I felt decidedly not alone with the experience, as cars sputtered past us on the street to our right and gangs of teenagers stolled down the sidewalk to our the left, talking on cell phones and smoking Marlboros and yelling and definitely not paying any attention to or feeling any inspired patriotism from the fireworks above them. The dog on the blanket next to us either loved or wished to eat children, as every tot that passed was greeted with an ear-piercing bellow and hyperactive doggy dance. Ben commented on how the fireworks we were watching were probably made by children in Chinese sweatshops. Thanks for that, honey. He is the king of levity. Then a car squealed its tires and burst up to 65 miles per hour in the intersection behind us. Then another car drove by, with a teenaged girl hanging out the window, yelling: "Happy 4th of July, motherf$#@ers." And, to truly cap off the ambiance, each and every firework that burst into the sky above us was punctuated by some rednecks yelling "Woo-woo" at a nearby house party.
Ahhh, reality. Sometimes it's a real pain in the booty. So is sitting on uneven grass along a major Des Moines thoroughfare. Just saying is all.
There were people all around us on blankets and in lawn chairs, but as a child I never even noticed them. Our family was in its own little world as the colored streaks slashed across the black sky and the Off! repellent kept our bony little ankles reasonably free of mosquito bites. Some years I, rife with sanguine patriotism, would just lie flat on my back on the plaid blanket and focus only on the bursts of pink, blue, and gold above me.
This year's trip to 4th of July fireworks reminded me very little of those placid nights at Sunnyside. This year, Ben and I camped out on an easement at 70th Street and Aurora Avenue in Des Moines. I felt decidedly not alone with the experience, as cars sputtered past us on the street to our right and gangs of teenagers stolled down the sidewalk to our the left, talking on cell phones and smoking Marlboros and yelling and definitely not paying any attention to or feeling any inspired patriotism from the fireworks above them. The dog on the blanket next to us either loved or wished to eat children, as every tot that passed was greeted with an ear-piercing bellow and hyperactive doggy dance. Ben commented on how the fireworks we were watching were probably made by children in Chinese sweatshops. Thanks for that, honey. He is the king of levity. Then a car squealed its tires and burst up to 65 miles per hour in the intersection behind us. Then another car drove by, with a teenaged girl hanging out the window, yelling: "Happy 4th of July, motherf$#@ers." And, to truly cap off the ambiance, each and every firework that burst into the sky above us was punctuated by some rednecks yelling "Woo-woo" at a nearby house party.
Ahhh, reality. Sometimes it's a real pain in the booty. So is sitting on uneven grass along a major Des Moines thoroughfare. Just saying is all.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Ice, Ice Baby
I've never been much of a figure skating fan. But when the opportunity came up to purchase box seats for "Champions on Ice" at Wells Fargo Arena last night, I couldn't resist. I went to the show sixteen, I think(?) years ago when it was at Hilton Coliseum and absolutely fell in love with French skater and Olympic silver medalist Surya Bonali, who did backflips through the air in her routine.
I am happy to report that Surya Bonali is STILL doing "Champions on Ice." She is a little older, but she's still doing the blackflips (just not as many as she used to, I suppose). I am glad my memory hadn't deceived me when I lobbied to my husband that we HAD to go to this "Champions on Ice" thing because it was WICKED COOL. I was right.
Pretty much every skater who won a medal at the 2006 Olympics was on hand, including American Sasha Cohen, gold-medalist Shizuka Arakawa of Japan, pairs champs Tatiana Totmianina & Maxim Marinin, and Russia's men's singles gold medalist Evgeni Plushenko (who, along with Ukranian Victor Petrenko, was my most favorite-ist).
The most exciting part of the evening, I have to admit, was the "World's Fastest Acrobats," Vladimir and Oleksiy. The Ukranian duo was funny and amazing: Vladimir, 6-2 and 210 pounds, repeatedly balanced Oleksiy, 5-7 and 150 pounds, on one hand above his head, standing on the ice with Oleksiy balancing himself on one hand in an inverted position ON VLADIMIR'S HEAD, etc. You pretty much had to see it to belive it. At one point, Vladimir was lying on his back on the ice, ONE skate-clad leg in the air, balancing a stack of six crates on the blade of the skate. Then, in what my mind could only come up with as the absolute limit of what could be done with this scenario, Oleksiy climbed up the side of the stack of crates and balanced himself on top. I swear I am not making this up. I haven't been this perplexed by a stunt since I saw the Red Panda flip bowls on her head whilst riding a unicycle at halftime of a Cyclone men's basketball game last season. And because it was 2005-2006 Cyclone men's basketball, this also was the most exciting part of the evening.
And even though it ever-so-slightly freaked out my husband (most of the women we talked to at the event had husbands who refused to come; such a shame) when Rudy Galindo was shaking his sequined ass at men in the crowd, we both had a fantastic time watching the champions on ice. How often do that many world-class athletes come to little ole Des Moines? It's a must-see. But then, I'm a sucker for world-class athletes.
I am happy to report that Surya Bonali is STILL doing "Champions on Ice." She is a little older, but she's still doing the blackflips (just not as many as she used to, I suppose). I am glad my memory hadn't deceived me when I lobbied to my husband that we HAD to go to this "Champions on Ice" thing because it was WICKED COOL. I was right.
Pretty much every skater who won a medal at the 2006 Olympics was on hand, including American Sasha Cohen, gold-medalist Shizuka Arakawa of Japan, pairs champs Tatiana Totmianina & Maxim Marinin, and Russia's men's singles gold medalist Evgeni Plushenko (who, along with Ukranian Victor Petrenko, was my most favorite-ist).
The most exciting part of the evening, I have to admit, was the "World's Fastest Acrobats," Vladimir and Oleksiy. The Ukranian duo was funny and amazing: Vladimir, 6-2 and 210 pounds, repeatedly balanced Oleksiy, 5-7 and 150 pounds, on one hand above his head, standing on the ice with Oleksiy balancing himself on one hand in an inverted position ON VLADIMIR'S HEAD, etc. You pretty much had to see it to belive it. At one point, Vladimir was lying on his back on the ice, ONE skate-clad leg in the air, balancing a stack of six crates on the blade of the skate. Then, in what my mind could only come up with as the absolute limit of what could be done with this scenario, Oleksiy climbed up the side of the stack of crates and balanced himself on top. I swear I am not making this up. I haven't been this perplexed by a stunt since I saw the Red Panda flip bowls on her head whilst riding a unicycle at halftime of a Cyclone men's basketball game last season. And because it was 2005-2006 Cyclone men's basketball, this also was the most exciting part of the evening.
And even though it ever-so-slightly freaked out my husband (most of the women we talked to at the event had husbands who refused to come; such a shame) when Rudy Galindo was shaking his sequined ass at men in the crowd, we both had a fantastic time watching the champions on ice. How often do that many world-class athletes come to little ole Des Moines? It's a must-see. But then, I'm a sucker for world-class athletes.
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