When it comes to shallow topics, my paranoia strikes deep.

So it's Wednesday, which means I fully descend into my midweek reality television abyss and stew all day about Project Runway. Hooray, intellectualism!

And today I'm worried about my darling Jerell.

In case you missed it, last week's episode of Runway was pure bullcrap. Jerell created an elegant gown while Kenley skinned a barracuda and belted it onto her model, yet there has been no change in the contestant status whatsoever. To summarize: The challenge had no point at all! The judges even went so far as to declare Jerell the challenge winner, yet did not place him in the final three.

I smell a conspiracy.

I know Jerell is a fantastic designer. He has won three challenges and has a flair for the dramatic. Also: I love him! But I will admit that Jerell sometimes lacks the "editing eye" that the Gunnster is always railing about. And if you let him get out of control, Jerell can create, well, kind of a hot mess.

Here is my fear: Jerell is going to show some slightly-out-of-control-yet-potential-filled designs for Bryant Park tonight and the judges (producers) will use it as an excuse to get rid of him. I could be wrong, but I'm worried. Armed with time, Kenley could certainly create some good stuff. And Leanne and Korto are proven talents. But if the point of the show is just to reward the three designers who create the nicest Bryant Park collections, why don't they just make that the format of the show?

And if they did make that the format of the show, I can tell you who would be in the final three: Joe. To the Motherfreaking Faris.
But I digress. The point is that, based upon the established format of the show, Jerell Scott has earned a spot in the final three of Project Runway. And the entire viewing audience has been waiting all season to see Kenley Collins get the auf to end all aufs. The producers are down to ONE LAST CHANCE to make this happen, so they had better make it happen tonight! Dammit.

On a semi-related note, has anyone seen The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo? Hilarious. It's really bad, actually. Don't watch it. Even though it is hilarious. But horrible.

The woman whom Stella hilariously dubbed on Runway "a stylist in an oversized mumu dress with a waistband who doesn't know any better" has her own show/product placement ad for Starbucks. The show consists of the 90-pound 37-year-old who looks 50 running around in oversized belted mumu dresses talking like a valley girl and acting like her life is stressful because she has to pick out dresses for celebrities to wear to awards shows. Seriously. It's really pathetic. And the fact that I wasted 60 minutes watching it and five minutes here writing about it doesn't say much for me. But it's sort of like the MTV show "The Hills." You just need to watch about 20 minutes of one episode to get the point: Our educational and values systems in the United States have officially hit rock bottom.

And I know: Project Runway is a pretty shallow thing to watch. But at least they DO SOMETHING on that show. Like design clothes, which requires talent and ability. They also do other things, like using the Bluefly.com accessory wall and thanking Mood and hollering at their boys. And voting off Jerell! Waaaaah! I'm so paranoid.

Prove me wrong, asshat Bravo producers. Please!