My husband recently visited the DMV to renew his driver's license, so he got to press his forehead into the vision tester thing against the sweat of the unwashed masses and sit in a hard chair while waiting for a lady in a smock who smells like Beaman's chewing gum to snap the camera in his general direction.
Ha! My license doesn't expire until 2009! I gloat, sort of.
The only fear I have about not getting to the DMV until 2009 is that I will have to continue to worry for three more years about what happens if I wind up dead in a ditch with only my driver's license to identify me...for I am certain that the law enforcement observation will go something like this:
"Wow, not only is this chick dead in a ditch, she also stole some skinny girl's driver's license."
Yes, despite my God's-honest attempts to change it, my driver's license says I weigh 140 pounds. I think I initially fudged down to this figure (reasonably) when I was 15 and got my first learner's permit. But I swear the weight on my ID has not been changed since then.
And I know what you're saying: Whatever, Kate. You are just avoiding having the number changed because you don't want people to see your actual weight.
But this is not true! I fill out the little questionnaire thingy to indicate that I weigh FIVE POUNDS LESS THAN MY ACTUAL WEIGHT every time I go to the DMV, and they never change it. Ben observed the same thing when he was there several weeks ago. THEY DO NOT READ THE FORM after you fill it out.
On the other hand, my blue-eyed hubby insists on listing his eye color as "hazel," so you can forget about his driver's license accurately identifying his dead body, either.
I actually think my fear is probably pretty unreasonable since they usually use witnesses, family, friends, etc., to identify your dead in a ditch body. Not your driver's license. But you never know. Maybe I should get some important double-secret document drafted up to indicate my actual girth. That might be easier than getting the DMV to change it on my license. Yaknow.
1 comment:
I had to replace my driver's license in the summer of 2004 before it expired in December 2004 because it was stolen...
Anyway, we got to that weight category -- which still had my HS weight on it as well -- and I think I had him increase it by like 10 lbs. I think *everyone* lies about their weight on their DL.
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