I'll tweet yours if you facebook mine

I work in the communications/marketing segment of our beautiful U.S. economy. It's a rather large and all-encompassing group of people that likes to spend a lot of time getting together telling one another what to do. This typically happens at conferences, lunch and learns, Webinars, etc. I recognize the ridiculousness of these frequent and redundant gatherings, yet am powerless to resist them. (There's usually food.)

I attended two such gatherings today, both conducted by experts on the subject of "social media." And now, after attending literally dozens of educational sessions on this topic, I am struck by one simple fact: There is no such thing as a "social media expert."

Maybe we should stop anointing them.

A social media expert, as far as I can tell, is someone who devotes large chunks of his or her day to surfing the Internet, tweeting, and downloading LOLCats. Then he (or she...but let's get serious, here: they're men) tells others they should be doing the same thing. "You HAVE TO blog; it's essential for your business!" "If you're not on MySpace, the market will leave you behind. It's where everything's happening." "Use these sites, but also find a way to stand out on them; you can't just blend in with the crowd." Or my personal favorite today: "Blogging is just, well, journalism." (Edward R. Murrow turned over in his grave on that one.)

Let me be clear: I don't necessarily disagree with these urgings for communications professionals to embrace social media. Surely a savvy organization will and should find a way to reach its audience on a Web site like Facebook, but I would contend that you shouldn't have to think that hard about how or why you would do it. I would also contend that there are so few success stories in the realm of social media marketing that it is mathematically impossible for the hundreds (if not more) who purport to be experts on this topic to actually exist.

Oh, and if you have to ask what sorts of things you might write about on your blog, you probably DON'T NEED A BLOG.

(*gasp*)

That's right, I said it. No master's degree in Internet marketing for me.