"People are stupid. If I were the Fifth Element I wouldn't have sacrificied myself for the world."
"I'm NOT smokin' the Kool-Aid."
"That guy couldn't pour pee out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel."
"Why would I want to smoke pot? Pot gives you two things: a headache and the munchies. I get that going to work."
(said as a Talking Heads song came on the radio) "Oooh, is this Megadeth?"
(said on air) "Well, it's a beautiful scene here today at Floyd Casey Stadium. The 12 Baylor fans who showed up are all holding up their arms in a bear claw saluting them team, doing a hand gesture like all these stupid Texas schools do."
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